As you know, President Donald Trump likes to compare himself to Andrew Jackson. As you probably didn’t know, it all starts with the hair. With both of them, their hair makes you say, “no effing way.”
With Andrew Jackson, it’s the $20 bill. Take out one of the many twenties that you carry and look at the Jackson picture on the back. What’s your first thought when you see that hair? No effing way. Nobody in 1845 had their hair all wavy and proportioned like that, even for a posed photo. Here’s a photograph of Jackson from that period:
At 78, he still had lots of hair, but it isn’t styled with an eye for his next hollywood movie. The guy on the money, he has hair you’d talk about. “I wish I could be 78, so I could have hair like that.” The guy in the real-life photo has a lot of hair, and it’s nice. Still, it’s not spectacular. With the money, sometimes I hold onto my 20-dollar bills just so I can sneak another peek at that hair. There’s just no way Andrew Jackson had hair like that. When you see that drawing, you say, “no effing way.”
With Donald Trump, his hair also makes you say “no effing way.” I’ve written in the past about my twin-like similarity to the president. The reason is that President Trump and I are both aliens.
It’s the only explanation that makes sense. Certainly you’ve considered this by now: Donald Trump is not the color of a person. People come in all sorts of colors, but orange is not one of the colors.
So here’s what happened: up in our alienville, Donald Alien was getting himself ready to come down to earth and pose as a human. He showed Me Alien his skin coloring and I said, “Well, it stretches believability but the human race is gullible. It should work.”
“Oh, wait,” Trump Alien said. “I’ve also got my hair.” He ran out of the Alien Kitchen, came back in wearing his Donald Trump hair, and gave me a look of pride.
And I said, “no effing way.”
I am the author of the “Best Looking One Always Wins,” which is the premiere book on presidential elections. For a complete history of the elections of Andrew Jackson and Donald Trump, please read my book.